The Capybara and the law

zoo

This post isn’t really about exotic animals per se, although it does involve them.

It’s more a digression from the animal theme into something else, just for a bit, because I just feel like talking about it and I can do that because this is my blog. Lol.

So, I imported a capybara for a zoo.

And when I say I imported it for a zoo, I want to quickly assure you that when it comes to zoos, I’m extremely particular about the kinds of zoos I send animals to.

They have to be the kind that replicates an animal’s natural habitat. I am never going to send an animal to one of those horrors that call itself a zoo but really is just a cruel and inhumane collection of cages. Forget that. Those places piss me off.

No, I will only import animals to places where they will have lots of the kind of space they need.

Back to the capybara.

So I imported this little guy a while back and sent him off to a great animal park in San Diego, California. All was good for a while until I got a call from the grand poobah there that the capybara had had multiple health issues, and they believed they’d gotten a lemon, so to speak.

We went back and forth about that for a number of weeks, and then things escalated to the place where I realized I had to get legal representation because if not, I was going to be in this thing way over my head.

I decided I needed to find an international law firm similar to this one: click here… (although it’s not the one I used) one that really knew their stuff about international law. And corporate law.

I did a bunch of google searching and asked some people I trusted. Most of the firms I found offered the whole range of services from international wealth management to international estate planning to personal injury law.

Now, I obviously didn’t need any of that, and nor did I have any personal injury claims or personal injury settlements I was trying to get resolved. I have no need for a personal injury calculator or personal injury insurance. Well, I don’t think so, anyway. I guess it depends on how much I get damaged by this issue with the damn capybara. Ha.

In looking for the best law firm, I came across one that I’m really happy with. I think this whole case is going to just go away pretty quickly, and that’s a giant relief. I have way too much to do to spend time on some stupid litigation about a freaking animal!

In the course of my research I did find out a whole lot about being a corporate lawyer, and that if I ever wanted a corporate law salary, I’d look at corporate law schools, find the best one, go to it, look at corporate law jobs, get the best one I could, and be set for life.

However, I don’t want to be a corporate lawyer. I just want to import exotic animals and have a great excuse for going back to Suriname.

Over and out for now.

Carb backloading John Keefer

Tags

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *